The Law and Order party won the election by a landslide and immediately started to fulfill their promises when they took office.  The number of citations skyrocketed for minor things like littered or snowy sidewalks and parking violations.© Y Lee Coyote

In the high school assembly the principal explained that behavior must also improve and that there was a return to the old ways.  He illustrated this by suddenly holding up a paddle.  A gasp rippled through the auditorium.  “Every teacher now has one and the authority to use it for improper behavior.” he concluded.

The teachers were all beaming while the students were shaking their heads not liking the idea at all.  A new protocol was even established to compel submission.  Students declining to be paddled would be suspended and a third refusal would mean expulsion.

“There are not any exceptions to the reinstatement of the old policies – they are for everyone.”

* * * * * * * * * *

It was a mundane reason for the first paddling that very afternoon.  Turlington kept insisting about a point in history class.  Mr. Hemstreet told him that he was wrong and explained why but he persisted arguing.  Unfortunately in doing so he got insolent and the teacher reacted decisively.

“Turlington you passed the point of civility and are being insolent.  The penalty for that is four pops on your underpants.  Get your butt up here immediately.”

The rest of the class was delighted for Turlington was often a prick.  A minute later Turlington’s jeans were down to his ankles and he was leaning on the desk.  Mr. Hemstreet was a foot to the side with the paddle at the ready.

Mr. Hemstreet swung the paddle hard at the target.  Turlington yelped for each of the four pops and then declined sitting for the rest of the period when directed to return to his seat.

* * * * * * * * * *

It was a double paddling that was recorded next.  The bullies Aikins and Marcellin had shoved the little freshman Sailer into his locker.  They hadn’t finished laughing about it when things suddenly and quickly changed.  Coach Patzkowski had seen the nasty deed and literally collared both of them tightly clamping his huge hands on their necks.

“You two have been warned about bullying and now you’re going to get paddled.  Hopefully it will make an impression on you that mere words haven’t.” he growled.  “Drop ‘em and lean on the wall.”  Then he opened the locker freeing the little freshie so he could watch.

The coach asked Mrs. Rosebush, who was outside her classroom monitoring the class change traffic, “May I borrow your paddle, please.” who quickly produced it.  Paddle now in hand, the coach found the right spot to swing it at a teen bully’s tail.  A sizeable crowd had assembled and was watching intently.  The paddle was raised and brought down on the target.  The hard WHACK resonated in the hall.  Aikins struggled to keep quiet.

The action was repeated on Marcellin with identical results.  The coach then returned to Aikins for his second pop and continued alternating between the two until they each had six pops well laid on.  With just two exceptions everyone wished that their undies had also been lowered so that the color changes could have been observed.

“You did an excellent job Coach Patzkowski.  Those two have needed that for years.” complimented Mrs. Rosebush when he returned the paddle.

It was a very fortuitous pair for the first paddlings since the pair was generally disliked except by their own posse.

* * * * * * * * * *

The school building was sturdy although of wood construction and thus not fireproof.  The Fire Marshal and Mr. Upward, the school’s Fire and Life Safety Coordinator (FLSC), were making a regular inspection when they smelt smoke.  They immediately reacted.  Grabbing a fire extinguisher from the wall, they dashed into the room.

There they saw Mr. Bankemper puffing away on a foul cigar.  Mr. Upward yanked the unlawful stogie from the miscreant’s mouth before he could take another puff and immediately drowned it in the half-full coffee cup.  The marshal commenced with a long tirade about how the building was not fireproof and occupied by many people and that SMOKING WAS STRICTLY PROHIBITED and UNLAWFUL.

“This dangerous, filthy and unhealthy activity must stop as I’ve told you several times, Mr. Bankemper.  The new enforcement procedures also apply to all staff personnel, just like to the students, for school rules violations.” expounded the irate and embarrassed FLSC.  “Please drop your pants and bend over your desk.” he continued picking up Mr. Bankemper’s own paddle that was on the desk.

“You can’t do that.” objected the offending teacher.

“Would you prefer me to arrest you for fire law violations which endanger our youths and explain things to the judge?” asked the Fire Marshal.

That was a very convincing consequence and Mr. Bankemper quickly decided that compliance was the best policy and was in position in less than a minute.

“Would you like to do the honors Marshal?” the FLSC asked holding out the paddle.

The Marshall immediately delivered the first SWAT with gusto for he knew first hand how easily people as well as the building could be consumed by a fire.  The offending teacher gave a howl in response.  The swing, swat and howl were repeated another five times.

“That’s all Mr. Bankemper.  Remember no more smoking in the building ever.” chastised the FLSC as he left with the Fire Marshall.  The timing could not have been worse for Mr. Bankemper as the class change had started just before the encounter.  The next class had the pleasure of watching Mr. Bankemper who was very generous dispensing pops get a dose of his own medicine which he did not take it well.

It was noted by the administration that the student grumbling about the new CP procedure went down after that.